Three weeks from yesterday (that would be Sept. 21), yours truly will be 33. If you knew me, you’d also know that this fact is quite impossible and incomprehensible, but nevertheless, my birth certificate seems to make it so. 33, of course, means that I will be as old as Jesus was when he had his nasty run-in with the Romans. Since all of you I’m sure are rushing out in an attempt to buy me presents, let me assure you that I see no need to receive a copy of The Passion of the Christ, so I hope none of those 4.1 million DVD copies purchased yesterday in the film’s first day of release are for me. Interestingly enough, it seems that each individual consumer purchased an average of 1.8 copies of the DVD which means plenty of evangelicals got started early on their Christmas shopping. So with that data and my birthday coming up, you can understand why I’d be concerned.
In fact, another DVD came out yesterday which I think makes a much better gift: South Park – The Passion of the Jew. This hysterical episode, about which I wrote back in April, is a perfect antidote to the megaloMELia that captured all the crazies who turned Gibson’s film into a major blockbuster. The DVD includes two bonus episodes, including a really funny one called “Christian Rock Hard” in which Cartman realizes if he rewrites any song to include lyrics about the glory of Jesus, he can make beaucoup bucks as a Christian rock star. So obviously, he forms a band … and becomes a big star.
Happily, it does seem that parents are still smart enough to recognize what DVDs are better for their kids. While I’m sure plenty of tots will continue to suffer nightmares due to a huge chunk of Jesus’ flesh flying across the screen or Roman soldiers breaking kneecaps using a big club so the crucified will die quicker or the geyser of blood that escapes from Jesus’ torso after he is speared in the cross, those 4.1 million sales are only half the amount Finding Nemo sold on its first day.
For my money, stick with the fish or the Colorado kids. Their comedy is more entertaining, interesting and even educational than Mel’s horror.
Out of Focus 