MISCELLANEOUS MISCELLANY: IT’S CALLED A FUNK

Or something like that. I think that’s what I may be in. All funked up. Is it the weather? Is it a dearth of anything interesting actually going on? Certainly the blogosophere doesn’t need me to comment on Ashlee Simpson, although I do take offense to the Pepcid-AC excuse. Acid Reflux is a very serious disease that if it gets really bad can lead to the erosion of your esophagus and potentially throat cancer. And if it’s that bad that it makes your throat sore, you’re usually not singing “live” the next night and doing “Today exclusive” interviews two days later.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s this utter panic I feel creeping in regarding what happens a week from today. The politics of fear have worked on me, folks. I am absolutely terrified of four more years with Dubya and this administration. Seriously scared. I wasn’t before his election in 2000. I didn’t want it, but I didn’t think the world would end. Now, I’m not so sure. They’ve made so many mistakes and errors in judgment, and new fuck-ups are revealed daily. And none of the news now regarding polling or trends or anything makes any sense or really indicates that it’s going to go one way or another. But is that because of spin? Media bias (which has shockingly become more and more conservative even while conservatives keep spouting “the liberal media.” Kids, “the liberal media” no longer exists.)? I don’t know, but I just want it to be over, and I pray for the right outcome.

Whatever it is, I haven’t been able to post because I haven’t been able to write. And now I just have these random minideas (I love creating words) bouncing around my brain. Such as:

• Speaking of the election, tonight is the finale of Sundance Channel’s four-episodes Tanner on Tanner. If you haven’t been watching, don’t bother to do so now, although I’m sure Sundance will replay the entire 2 hours at some point. This brief series hasn’t been nearly as compelling as the original Tanner ’88. Hopefully, Sundance will continue to show those episodes, but Criterion just released the entire series on DVD, and the two discs are definitely worth the rental. Tanner on Tanner tries to lampoon the current popularity of documentary filmmaking, particularly political docs. The problem is that the episodes seem to focus more on the characters, especially the somewhat annoying Alex Tanner. What made Tanner ’88 so interesting wasn’t specifically the characters as much as the supposed inside-look at the process and experience of running for president. But Tanner on Tanner has become too much about the troubles Alex has making her documentary and not enough about her doc’s actual subject, looking back on the effort of a failed campaign and what it does to the candidates. That would, in fact, have been a great series, but the idea is barely touched upon. Instead, we’ve gotten clever fact-meets-fiction meta-moments such as Alex Kerry and Alex Tanner both trying to interview Ron Reagan Jr for their respective documentaries, but ultimately, where Tanner ’88 felt like substantial satire, Tanner on Tanner has been mostly fluff.

• Tomorrow or Thursday I plan to revisit some of this season’s new shows and explain a few upgrades and downgrades, but I am happy to see that schedule-changes are already underway, even before Fox really throws its schedule into the mix. Hawaii has mercifully been cancelled and LAX has moved into its Wednesday night slot. At least half of that is good news.

  But even better news, CBS’s Clubhouse – of which I’m a dwindling fan – is moving from its overly competitive Tuesday 9 PM slot to Saturdays at 8. Saturdays might actually be an appropriate night for this slightly-too-family-friendly show, but it’s also probably an indication that it won’t survive the season. The good news, though, is that Saturdays at 8 was supposed to be the time slot for TV’s far-and-away best reality show, The Amazing Race 6, which will now move into Clubhouse’s own home on Tuesdays starting with a 2 hour premiere in a few weeks.

  The WB is swapping some shows too, sending The Mountain to Sundays at 9 PM in exchange for Jack & Bobby moving to Wednesdays at 9 PM.
  This is kind of a curious move, actually. Jack & Bobby is by far the better show, especially considering that The Mountain never should have moved beyond its crapterrible pilot. But Sundays at 9 and Wednesday at 9 are probably the two most competitive time slots of the entire week, especially with the (much-deserved) blockbuster success of ABC’s Desperate Housewives on Sundays and the (dare-I-say-it-after-only-one-episode?) possible resurgence of The West Wing on Wednesdays. I’m not sure about what sense it makes for either show. Jack & Bobby wasn’t finding an audience on Sundays, but the only advantage for Wednesdays is that Smallville might be a more compatible lead-in than Charmed. Still, it now will have to face The Bachelor, The King of Queens, The West Wing and Kevin Hill not to mention something Nanny 911 or Bernie Mac (if the show goes back into production post Mac-“exhaustion”). While Desperate Housewives is the biggest new non-reality hit network TV has seen since CSI (and even that show took some time to grow), the CBS Sunday Movie, Law & Order: Criminal Intent and Fox’s upcoming My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss can’t be as scary as that Wednesday lineup, and on Sundays, The WB doesn’t even have to worry about competing with UPN which doesn’t program the evening.
  Still, I’m guessing (hoping) that The WB believes that Smallville’s overall audience (which is much larger than Charmed’s) will help make-up for that 1/2 a rating point which seemed to separate The Mountain and Jack & Bobby each week with more people finding the latter show, and the former just fending for itself.

• In what can only be described as joyous quick-overnight rating news, last night’s premiere of The Swan on Fox utterly tanked coming in fifth in its first hour beating only UPN’s sitcoms. A few more people turned in during its second hour, but I’m sure the numbers are still way below Fox’s expectations. Maybe that’s because the show is awful.

• Proof that Mischa Barton desperately wants to be Tori Spelling: she’s making a concerted effort to appear in indie films such as The OH in Ohio. She’ll star opposite Parker Posey, which obviously is a major element of achieving true indie-film cred, just like Tori did The House of Yes. This means implants must be next. She’s 18 now, so it’s easily doable!

• In what could be good news for the potential film production of Rent, the producers are apparently now thinking of going after much of the original Broadway cast to reprise their roles for the film. This would include Taye Diggs, Jesse Martin, Adam Pascal, Anthony Rapp and Idina Menzel. I’m not sure why they wouldn’t also want Daphne Rubin-Vega or Wilson Heredia who as Mimi and Angel, respectively, were the two highlights of the original production, along with Menzel’s Maureen. And if they want to stick a brand name in it like Justin Timberlake (who was previously rumored), I’m not sure why they wouldn’t want him for Roger, the role originated by the I-can-sing-much-better-than-I-can-act Pascal. But whatever; it’s all a sign for hope. I’m sure Revolution Studios is encouraged by the fact that Diggs, Martin and even Menzel have become more household names since their Rent debuts, with Diggs and Martin toplining TV series (Kevin Hill and Law & Order, respectively) and Menzel winning a Tony for her ongoing excellent star-turn in Wicked. While this casting won’t solve what I called the “Fifth Sign of the Apocalypse,” namely the fact that Chris Columbus will destroy direct the production, it certainly would help instill some of the stage show’s spirit into the film.

• I don’t know about you, but I don’t think it’s right for Sarah Michelle Gellar to benefit from Ben Affleck’s failures. Sure Surviving Christmas probably sucks and shouldn’t have been released a week before Halloween, and I was also a huge fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but Scooby Doo and its sequel were enough to push me off the Gellar bandwagon, and we don’t really need another Neve Campbell or even Jennifer Love Hewitt. Just because everyone wants to punish Ben with a $4-Million opening, does that mean The Grudge deserves to make ten-times that much? I think not.

• Oh yeah, and just in case you’re more confident about a Kerry win and think I have no reason to worry, if I were an undecided voting in Iowa, this sure as hell wouldn’t make me go Democratic.

And finally, last Friday’s post was, in fact, my last word (at least for the time being … yeah, always hedging) on the whole Jon Stewart/Crossfire incident. Sunday’s 60 Minutes didn’t really illuminate anything. Steve Kroft was a good sport, even though he didn’t really challenge Stewart at all, although that may be simply because there’s no rational argument against what Stewart was saying.