WHY DOES ALL THIS STUFF HAPPEN WHEN I’M AWAY?

Today has been a pretty earth-shaking day within the business realm of the entertainment world. First the announcement of the merger between UPN and The WB and then the official word that Disney has bought Pixar.

I think in the long run, both bits of news are actually big pluses for us little folk out here in the audience. But what ramifications do they hold for their respective companies, personnel and programming? Hmmmm …?

I’m totally surprised by both of these deals. On the surface, it would seem that Disney and its idiot CEO Robert Iger have made a huge coup in buying the still growing and astoundingly successful Pixar, even at the reported $7.4 billion price tag. All reports for the past couple years had been how Michael Eisner had so alienated Pixar and Steve Jobs that Disney was going to lose its distribution deal (and therefore the pipeline for its most successful releases) with the digital animation studio. Now, obviously, that won’t be an issue. But has Iger caused problems for himself? Pixar will reportedly merge and takeover Disney Animation (which creatively is a great move) meaning that the Pixar executives — who have no real allegiance to Iger — will be in charge. Meanwhile, Jobs becomes something like the second biggest shareholder of Disney and joins the Board of Directors. As he has shown at both Apple and Pixar, Jobs doesn’t like to cede control to many people, and his desire for creativity and innovation could put him at odds with Iger’s inability to do anything productive.

Except this, I suppose. I’ll give him credit where credit is due. The simple fact is, Disney’s acquisition of Pixar and Pixar’s taking control of the future of Disney Animation is a positive at least creatively. So even if it somehow directly or indirectly leads to the end of Iger … well, that would be a good thing too. Bravo, Bob. Hopefully the best thing you’ve ever done will help you lose your job. Then the only question will be how much has Disney learned about providing gigantic parachute separation packages. One would think after all the Ovitz fiascos, they’ve learned something.

Now, as for The WB and UPN … wow! The most interesting part of that news to me is that the new network — The CW which I’m assuming stands for CBS Warner since UPN was part of CBS — is apparently not expanding its programming schedule to cover all of primetime and compete in the 10 PM hour. It would just seem like with as much programming as they have and the ability to experiment in a time slot that does not have Fox competing and on some nights isn’t a sure thing for any of the biggest three, they would finally push their local affiliates to move to an 11 PM newscast and program primetime. But no. Apparently The CW will stick to 13 hours of programming which means two hours Monday-Friday and three on Sunday.

Of course, this news also means that most of the crap (I repeat, “most”) on both networks will give way to each of the net’s strengths. UPN has managed to create some of the absolute best shows on television over the past couple years with Veronica Mars and Everybody Hates Chris (not to mention potentially the most entertaining reality program, America’s Next Top Model, although Project Runway is certainly nipping at those heels). Meanwhile The WB hasn’t been quite as strong in its development of new series, but it still has some winners with Gilmore Girls, the uneven Smallville and the strangely compelling (even if occasionally cheesy) Supernatural.

It’s a surprise move but in a way it shouldn’t be. Both networks were having a hard time growing their audience even with some of their better and more successful shows. The television landscape is completely different from when they both started over a decade ago now, and there are more channels than ever between cable and satellite (not to mention the always discussed alternative entertainment media — the internet, video games, etc.) drawing attention away from standard non-niche broadcasting. Both The WB and UPN had certainly targeted specific demos for their audiences, but with as much competition as is out there, that kind of targeting is simply unlikely to be able to survive in the modern commercial broadcast non-cable television landscape.

I’m a bit wary of this news, however, that the networks are simply merging executive staffs. That certainly can’t last long, and within weeks, if not days, I’m sure we’ll read about this person heading that way and this person ankling to produce independently. How will these executives work together? How long will an actual partnership between mega-corporations like CBS Inc and Time Warner really survive? I wouldn’t bet on this structure’s longevity. And while the new network next fall might be helped by the combination of the strongest programming from each network, we’re only one season away from a whole new development slate meaning things will be back to normal (read: crappy) very soon. In fact, could too much internal competition among the two network’s best shows cause some to depart the air sooner than they otherwise might have? Will Gilmore Girls prove to be a stronger show on The WB and somehow push out UPN’s Veronica Mars? Or will UPN President Dawn Ostroff, who will take the mantle as President of Entertainment for The CW, hold a bias for her UPN shows?

Even I can’t answer that now (yes that’s right … I know it’s hard to believe) , but it should be interesting to watch.