Out of Focus

Sometimes, I just need to find a form of catharsis. I keep happening across all these film and TV related stories upon which I want to comment; I’ve seen several films in the past two weeks; and I’ve got plenty jostling around this addled brain o’ mine; but for some reason, I haven’t been able to write any of it because I keep having this other stuff to get to. This being some sort of “blog,” it shouldn’t matter, right? I should simply be able to write any one thing at any one time and people will find it or not, read it or not, but whatever happens, I’m done with it.

Yet for me, my move — now nearly a month old — keeps hovering over me. Maybe it’s because I still haven’t manage to completely settle in my new place; maybe it’s because I’m still going through a natural period of adjustment; maybe it’s for any number of reasons I have yet to identify. The only thing I know for near-certain is that I’ve now been planning for weeks to write about it, to post some before/after pictures of my old apartment, to deal with what actually (and surprisingly) turned out to be a slightly traumatic experience, but for whatever poor reason — namely my own procrastination — I have yet to do so. And instead, I keep coming to this space, not writing any of the stuff bursting to come out and only commenting on why I’m not writing — which is such a blogger cliche anyway, I feel like I should just go and delete all those posts in order to reacquire some positive karma or something.

But that’s not how I’ve ever treated this space.

Continue reading “ACTS OF CATHARSIS: PART I — WHY I WRITE … OR DON’T”

Uhm … hi. Yeah, not sure what happened there other than the fact that my slow, lots of free time week turned out to be not so much slow or containing lots of free time. It wasn’t crazy hectic either; but there weren’t log periods where I said to myself, “Hey, Aaron, let’s sit down and write those posts.” Actually, I did start working on the first one the other night, but it involves photos. That needed editing. And my Photoshop skills are rudimentary at best. So it took a while. Hence, the next post.

But if any of you remember back in January when I made my resolutions announce my “unattainable goal” of averaging a movie a day (which continues to fulfill its “unattainableness” — hey, Colbert says it’s a word regardless of Webster’s!), I think I’ve realized that I need to resolve something new. For example, I need to resolve not to write about what I’m planning to write about and instead just write.

I know — that’s some deep shit, huh?

Anyway, in order to continue with my pattern of immediately breaking my word … my other posts are on their way. In the mean time …

Can somebody explain to me why in freezing whether at 5:25 PM on the day after Thanksgiving there is a line of at least 20 people outside at John’s on Bleecker? I mean, I love their pizza too, but I really hope every last one of those people are tourists and heard that without John’s they were missing the NYC experience or something. Nice that John’s puts up a bigger-than-normal weather-guard to line virtually the entire storefront. Or was I missing John’s own five cent pie special?

Today I sit at a reception desk. It is my first temp job in I don’t know how many years, and it’s very temporary. Just today and tomorrow. Doing very little. In fact, after I complete the four or five incredibly simple tasks (of course, don’t those always unexpectedly take the most time), I should have time to do just about anything else I want. Such as, I don’t know, pretend to actually write on this blog again.

I have an agenda. There are a few things that have been going on in life that for some reason I feel compelled to expunge in a public forum such as this one. Go figure. Is it narcissism? Well what isn’t these days. But I don’t think so. I don’t think my life is so interesting — rather, I know it’s not – but I don’t know … stories I want to tell or something?

Anyway, I’ve actually deliberately (until the last couple months) stayed away from using this space as a “personal” blog, and now, I really want to get back to its original purpose – me ranting about movies and TV and media and all that crap. And I’m going to. Hell, I feel like I have to start writing about film again since apparently I’m an official ”Film Blogger”. (And yes, I realize I have now officially jumped the shark.)

So this is my intro … my prologue … my preface to a return to regular writing or blogging or whining or ranting or rambling or whatever it is I do here. I should get back to the few items for which they’re paying me, and then later in the day, I’ll be back to get all the catch-up out of the way. Oooh, there’s fun to be had, with everything from my friendly welcome to Brooklyn to why for the first time ever I was disappointed that I had read a book before seeing its filmed adaptation.

No wait … come back. It won’t be that dull.

Or I’m just being optimistic. It happens! But I’m not sure. I could try to say that I’ve been missing all week because I’ve been morning that Arrested Development news, but that would be a lie. I’m trying to focus this weekend on getting a few personal posts that I feel somewhat compelled to write out there and then returning to the only reason any of you likely ever come here anyway: to read the blathering inanities of someone too consumed with film and TV, and then probably to say to your screen, “What an idiot!”

Nevertheless, I persist, and I’m going to really try to get back into the full swing of things by next week. You know the adage (is it actually one?) that if your living and work spaces are disorganized, you’re likely disorganized too? Well, that’s where my head is. I’ve moved but I haven’t settled. I’ve got a ton to do in my apartment, and I’ve been a bit lazy in actually doing it, although in part because of my preoccupation with finding some income. Silly me.

Anyway, in the midst of it all, there was a Gothamist post put up yesterday. “Weekend Movies” it’s called because I personally feel it’s becoming less and less of a “guide,” but that’s OK. I’m adjusting, I suppose, and as I haven’t had a ton of time (or haven’t made a lot of time) to put a ton of effort into it, while I cut some things out to keep it a bit shorter this week, I still didn’t write everything I otherwise would have anyway.

My “pick” over there this week is tonight’s edition of the annual Asbury Shorts New York program at the French Institute. There are some really interesting short films on the program, and if you have nothing to do tonight, you might want to consider checking it out.

Not in the Gothamist post, however, are a few things I wanted to make note of. For example, also opening this week is Breakfast on Pluto from director Neil Jordan. I saw it at the New York Film Festival and was slightly disappointed. (Here’s my review at Gothamist.)

Also, for anyone who cares, Universal is rereleasing Cinderella Man with ads stating “Rediscover Cinderella Man.” But since very few people “discovered” it the first time (hence this rerelease to try to keep it in Awards voters’ minds), is there any “re-” involved?

And finally, it seems like every week there’s another “film festival” in New York. This weekend there are two: The Big Apple Film Festival opened yesterday and runs through tomorrow at Anthology Film Archives. It’s cosponsored by IFP/NY and Filmmaker Magazine and in its second year. Who knew? Not I, somehow, and I’m an IFP member!

Meanwhile over in Astoria is the third edition of The Queens International Film Festival, which also opened yesterday but runs through the end of the weekend. Like Big Apple, I don’t really know much about either festival and I don’t think I’ll have time to visit either this weekend, but both are independent festivals doing their best to showcase new work you might not see elsewhere, and usually, somewhere within that morass, you might find something good.

It looks like hands-down the best show anywhere on television (and probably the best show anywhere on television in years) i struggling on its last legs. Daily Variety and Hollywood Reporter and just about every other media outlet are reporting that Fox has pulled Arrested Development for the remainder of November sweeps and also cut down its season order from a full 22 to just 13 episodes. (Here’s the HR story via CNN.com for those non-trade scubscribers.) Gail Berman (former Fox chief who’s now head of production at Paramount) was a big backer of the series, but with her gone, this isn’t such a big surprise. And you can’t completely blame Fox, other than stupid ass scheduling and never letting the show really plant roots and grow in any one time slot. They did renew it twice.

Still, you know whose fault it is? YOURS! That’s right. I blame (and hate) everyone who doesn’t watch this show. And if somehow you manage to have Nielsen box and don’t watch, I hope your TV explodes and your replacement gets stuck on Discovery Wings (unless you’re a big war history fan, in which case, I hope you get stuck on Noggin). What Fox SHOULD be doing, since they produce the show in house along with Imagine Television, is work to sell the damn thing to a cable outlet — USA or even HBO. Comedy Central? (Probably too pricey a production for them.) Or keep it within the News Corp. family and air it on FX. They still haven’t gotten the half-hour comedy right — both of their new half-hours this season blew. If Showtime was smart, they’d pick the damn thing up, finally giving them a show that actually can rival anything on HBO. (I really enjoyed Weeds — at least I think I did. Could just be my perennial crush on Mary Louise Parker. And Huff got progressively better as its season continued. But Showtime still doesn’t hold a candle to the majority of HBO’s fare.) On any of those cable nets, Arrested devoted audience would likely follow, and the numbers they get on Fox would be huge.

Please, please, please don’t let this show die. Please, please, please spread the word to people that when it returns in December, to give it a chance, and by a chance, I mean more than once to get into the flow. Go Netflix the DVDs. Or buy them. Or something. But before anyone criticizes television, you better be watching the most sophisticated, witty and cleverly written series there is, otherwise, shut your mouth.

That’s right … I’m pissed.

So if you’ve been patient with me, you might remember that I said there were going to be three interviews last week, but my move and packing got in the way. The one that was delayed is finally here today, and it’s one of my favorites because it’s with one of my favorite new people, Kimberlee Auerbach. (New to me, obvs.) I happened upon Kimmi during the Fringe Festival in August, and I reviewed her one-woman show Tarot Reading: Love, Sex and Mommy for Gothamist. Her show really spoke to and touched me in a way few others have; I was really able to identify with a lot of her struggles, especially the one main focus of the entire show, being happy with yourself and the process of doing things you love even if you’re not actually getting everything you want. I wrote Kimmi after the show to let her know about the review and to see if she’d be willing to do an interview with me, and so a couple weeks ago we sat down to chat in an UWS Starbucks. (Where else? There’s no place else to sit on the UWS what with a Starbucks basically every three blocks.)

We chatted for a long time, and as much as I included in the interview, I had to leave a bunch of things out because it was just too much for one piece. For instance, Kimmi was actually a teenage model. Her father’s company made the colorful Le Clic cameras in the ’80s, and when she was 14, 15, 16, she was the Le Clic Girl. She had an intersting take on the experience, and doesn’t look back on it too fondly:

My mom at the time really thought it would be a wonderful experience, and to some extent it was definitely exciting to go to Japan and England and Germany at such a young age. But it was hard. A lot of girlfriends were jealous or mean to me, or they’d say, “She’s only doing that because of her father. She’s not pretty enough.” So maybe I would have had a better chance to develop some self-esteem about my looks, but everyone was always taking jabs at me. And also I was overly sexualized in the world so I got a lot of attention from older men. Boys my age were intimidated by me so I didn’t have a boyfriend until college. So that was very scary — my sexuality became a very scary thing to me. So I didn’t think it was great at all, especially in retrospect.

Even more interesting to me personally was the fact that she balances a full-time, complex job at Fox News with pursuing her writing and other creative endeavors. As someone on a constant quest to find that balance between the day job for money, pursuing my long term goals, and still having time to relax (and the procrastinator in me too often gravitates toward that last option), I was curious how she did it, especially since she actually revels in the process itself (as you’ll read at Gothamist).

I use a lot of my vacation days to work. For as long as I can remember, I’ve worked on the weekends and at night, and I use my vacation days. That’s how I did the show at the Fringe, by using them, and it makes me feel better. I don’t need to be making money to do my art as long as I’m doing it. But there’s this split, and that’s hard. I was telling someone last night that my job in some ways has been very good for me because I was always the emotional artsy one, and I was much more comfortable talking about my feelings. [But at Fox] I have to manage a lot, and make really fast decisions under pressure and be calm, and I’ve learned about myself that I can do that. I’m not emotional at work, and I get the job done, so that’s part of my personality that’s been fully developed that’s great and that I can use anywhere I go.

I try to have as much balance as I can in my life, and I try to cook dinner, see friends and get out of the city. I think the big difference is aside from feeling split that I’m not making money doing the thing I love in the world –- that’s the reality of my life, I’m not making money doing my art – but I’ve been working with the people I’ve been working with for the last seven years, and they’ve become friends, they make me laugh, they’re fun and we talk, and so there’s a certain kind of community that has developed in the newsroom that makes my every day tolerable.

I’ve actually taken a lot of inspiration from a couple different people recently, one being Kimmi, the other being Rachel Kramer Bussel (who had a fantastic 30th birthday party last night, even if I was too lame to stay very long — Happy birthday again RKB!). Both of them have managed to some degree, if not fully, overcome their creative insecurities and be productive — get shit done. I’m still working on translating inspiration to motivation. For now, though, just get to know Kimmi. You’ll be glad that you did.

I haven’t deliberately been so silent, but I’ve been having much difficulty settling in to my new apartment and neighborhood. The reasons are probably somewhat psychological and emotional, but they’re also logistical as certain circumstances in the new place have precluded me from being able to unpack and/or organize a bunch of my things. And for some reason, I just haven’t been in the mood to sit and write, even when I’ve felt like I have something to say.

Yet never fear, the Gothamist Weekend Movie Guide is up for your browsing pleasure.

I’m moved. I live in Brooklyn now. That last sentence still doesn’t make complete sense to me, and I’m far from settled. Tuesday until now has been a blur, and there’s still a lot for me to do. I hope to get back to more regular posting this weekend or next week. I did manage to get a “Weekend Movie Guide” done for Gothamist yesterday. Yes, very exciting stuff. Notice the word “weekend” instead of “weekly.” You’ll also notice, it’s shorter. I hope to post an occasional or even daily pick for what’s going on on Mondays, Tuesdays or Wednesdays — the point being shorter more targeted posts rather than one big weekly guide. Or so it seems.

Anyway … more TK.

Movers arrive in 21 hours, so I don’t really have time to write much today, nor will I. My Halloween was spent huddled over my shredder — which actually was kind of fun — cleaning out my files. Yup, that means I didn’t even have the chance to go to yesterday’s parade, which is a little sad considering yesterday’s interview. I keep putting off the kitchen because it seems the most daunting part of packing. Hopefully, the rest of you out there had a great Halloween, and to keep the spirit.

Anyway, today’s interview was all Lily. Literally. I basically checked her html coding, added a few web links and copy edited — although I hesitate to claim that last function for fear that there are plenty of mistakes. There will be one more interview this week, but it won’t run until Friday. Meanwhile, today, meet Cathlin Baker, an ordained minister and a Special Assistant to the President of Union Theological Seminary.

Somehow, our rotation for Gothamist Interviews often happens at the worst possible time. Take this week: I have to move on Wednesday. I’m trying to pack-up my apartment which hasn’t gone through this packing/moving/tossing old stuff process in five years. I still need to change my addresses, turn-off utilities, and hire movers. Ugh. Point being: don’t expect a lot from me this week.

Other than a few interviews though, and I say a few because we wound-up doing only three this week, the first which is up today and particularly timely. If you live in New York, hopefully you’ve followed the recommendation of the book “100 Things To Do Before You Die” and participated in, or at least attended, the annual New York’s Village Halloween Parade. On Friday I chatted with Jeanne Fleming, the Artistic and Producing Director of the parade, which will celebrate its 32nd edition tonight. Jeanne has been running the parade for the past 23 years, and if you ever thought that somehow two million people just came together and started marching — well, that’s kind of how it started, but it sure hasn’t been like that for a while!