This Sunday night marks the true beginning of the Oscar race. Oh sure, the nominating ballots will have already been turned in to PricewaterhouseCoopers (they’re due tomorrow by 5 PM), so the actual winners of the Golden Globes won’t really sway the nominations, but you can bet your ass that Sunday’s winners will be coming first thing Tuesday morning (no trade papers on Martin Luther King Jr. Day) just hoping that they’ll get the nod when big daddy’s finalists are announced on the morning of Tuesday 1/25.
One film that should be able to save a ton of money is The Phantom of the Opera. Of the 11 films receiving Golden Globe Best Picture nominations (six dramas and five musicals/comedies), Phantom was the only one I hadn’t seen … until last night. I mention this in passing over at The Conversation this morning, but I walked into the theater with very low expectations. Generally when that happens, even if I don’t like a film, it won’t annoy me to death. I had very low expectations for National Treasure, and although I’m not going to bestow upon it any awards, I actually had a good time. I’ve made no secret of my dislike for the work of Vincent Gallo, so I wasn’t anticipating much from The Brown Bunny, but even though I didn’t like the movie, it was better that I thought it would be and an improvement on Buffalo ’66, which I despised.
Being directed by Joel Schumacher is an immediate strike against this adaptation of the long-running Andrew Lloyd Weber musical. Unlike many people, I never hated the stage show. I didn’t love it either, and in many ways, I consider it the prime example of everything that was wrong with musical theater from about the mid-80s through the late-90s, with continuing residual effects lingering still today. Phantom was “musical spectacle,” not musical theater. The most important part of the stage show wasn’t the music, songs or singing, but it was a gigantic chandelier crashing to the stage at the end of Act I. But the music, in its own overly manipulative way, was still somewhat stirring, and the performances by that original cast gave the cheesy fantasy-filled love story some degree of oomph. Phantom the stage show wasn’t as good as Les Miserables, but it also wasn’t as torturous as Miss Saigon. And while Weber isn’t any sort of true musical genius, he’s actually much better than composers like Frank Wildhorn who has given us The Civil War, The Scarlet Pimpernel, Jekyll & Hyde and, most recently, the now-closed flop Dracula: The Musical.
So when I sat down to watch Schumacher’s filmed Phantom — made with heavy input from Weber – I may have been predisposed to not like the movie, but not due to any hatred of the material. Instead, I just never expect a good film from Schumacher anymore. I wrote about this theory of mine last year in a post regarding the terrible Phone Booth. Basically, if you give Schumacher too big a budge and let him go wild with his production design and effects, he’ll ruin your film. Schumacher is one of the few directors who really needs to spend less time looking through the camera lens and more paying attention to what the fuck he’s actually shooting. You give a film like Tigerland and send him off with no money, he comes back with a minor gem. I still haven’t seen 2003’s Veronica Guerin, but I’ve heard good things, and this is another movie that he had to make for under $20 Million.
You throw $60 Million at Schumacher (with no real high-priced talent, mind you) and tell him to recreate a 19th Century Parisian opera house, and you’re fucked. Schumacher shattered all my low expectations for Phantom. He jumped right through them and made a movie far far worse than I ever thought was possible. It would be much hard to pinpoint what isn’t wrong with this movie than comprehensively describing what is.
Continue reading “IF ONLY JOEL SCHUMACHER WOULD BECOME A PHANTOM AND DISAPPEAR”
I know, I know. I’ve been mentioning and promising: “Here comes the list. I’m working on my list.” I’m sure by this point, you’re all listed out. I understand, and I apologize for the delay. But hey, at least I’m joining the game sooner than I did last year.


