Out of Focus

I often don’t go to opening weekends of big wide-release movies. I like a crowded movie theater, but I hate having to get there extra-early, possibly getting crap seats, etc. But this weekend, I actually happened to go to all three new major release movies, and I’m very happy to say that the finish line for the weekend box office was ordered in a way commiserate with the qualities of the individual films.

The aptly named Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story trounced the Spielberg-Hanks, i.e., should-be-guaranteed-blockbuster, release The Terminal. Early estimates found the Ben Stiller/Vince Vaughn comedy attracting $30-Million to “only” $18.7-Million for The Terminal. For plenty of movies, an $18.7-Million opening weekend is great. For Spielberg & Hanks … not so much.

But you know what? Dodgeball may not win any awards, but it’s funny as hell. The Terminal on the other hand is possibly the worst movie Spielberg has ever directed. The only thing that keeps The Terminal< from being the biggest disaster this weekend is that Disney released it's $100-Million Walden Media produced "remake" (barely) of Around the World in 80 Days starring Jackie Chan. Not only does it’s #9 placing and $6.8-Million weekend gross signal major flop, but it’s an absolutely atrocious movie. But I’ll deal with that in another post.

I mean, I expected Around the World in 80 Days to be bad (albeit not as bad as it is), and I expected the Terminal to at least be interesting, if not good. But as the movie went on … and on … and on … and on … from one completely implausible or illogical plot-point to the next, I became more and more astonished that anyone involved, especially Spielberg, agreed to even participate in this production. The script is absolutely terrible, filled with little cute or funny moments that when strung together still make absolutely no sense.

I know plenty of people will enjoy this movie because it has these sweet moments and is filled with actors most of us love. And Spielberg is obviously a good enough director to manipulate the hell out of an audience with almost any material. But this film suffers from something other than Deus ex Machina because for the majority of its nearly 130 minutes not much actually happens. And it’s the inconsistencies in each character that drove me batty.

The entire premise of the movie makes little sense, especially in this post-9/11, constant Orange alert at JFK world. The thought that the airport security wouldn’t hold this one passenger until they actually could get the proper translator there and would instead let him roam free in the international terminal, eventually finding his way to a closed area in the terminal where he can take apart seats to build a bed with nobody noticing, even though we’re shown the large banks of monitor screens linked to cameras throughout the airport … well, yeah … it’s somewhat laughable.

But let’s suspend our disbelief for just a moment: nothing else makes sense either. The joke at the beginning is that Hanks’ character speaks no English and pretty-much just says “Yes.” Yet Stanley Tucci’s character, who heads security at customs at JFK, keeps talking to him. Hanks still doesn’t seem to understand, but oh wait a second, he does. He doesn’t grasp that his country is at war because he’s surprised when he sees the pictures on the TV screens later, but he does understand that he can’t leave the airport and the coupons marked meal vouchers are for food. The amount of English he does or doesn’t get is completely inconsistent until, one of the good script moments, he finds two NYC tourist guides — one in English, one in Russian (I believe) — and starts learning English by comparing the similar passages. But that brings me back to gripe number 1: his language is either Russian or at least it’s something common enough for there to exist a tourist guide in the airport. They really couldn’t get a translator there from NEW YORK CITY within a couple hours?

Nitpicky? Maybe. But it’s the accumulation of these kinds of story elements that destroy this movie. The love story, as it is, between Hanks and Catherine Zeta-Jones is utterly ridiculous because there’s not one moment where we can see why Hanks believes in her so much. Yeah, first he thinks she’s gorgeous (a given), but then he discovers that she’s been “the other woman” to some guy for seven years and she basically tells him to stay away. They talk a bit about Napoleon, and that’s what convinces him that she’s the love of his life? Hanks’ character is supposed to be this wonderful, nice, intelligent, sweet man put in a very unfortunate position who has come all the way to New York to fulfill a promise (that I won’t reveal in case you actually choose to go see this tripe), who at one point risks his own freedom for a stranger, who won’t tell a white lie that will allow him to legally leave the airport, who is consumed with honor and integrity — but all that’s important is that Zeta-Jones is hot? Nice message.

And I’m not even going to get started on Tucci’s character, the stereotypical driven career-man who won’t let anything stand in his way of success. The problem is, the Hanks character never really is any threat to Tucci’s character in any way, and the ultimate vendetta that seems to grow throughout the “story” can only be explained by saying simply that Tucci’s character is mean. There’s no other rational reason, not even one that might be realistic solely within the confines of the world of the movie. Never is this more evident than at what is meant to be the emotionally rousing climax, which is of course utterly predictable. If you actually believe there is any reason for Tucci to act the way he does, well you’ll probably like this movie … and you have major problems. And the other two or three subplots? Oy!

I’m just shocked that with the talent involved, The Terminal we get is this one. This could have been a much more interesting and even believable movie. And before you say, “Aaron, I go to the movies to escape and be entertained; screw the real world,” the fact that The Terminal isn’t “realistic” is the least of its problems. Take Dodgeball, which is incredibly absurd and absolutely hilarious. Yeah, it’s low-brow humor, and plenty of the funny comes at the expense of someone getting smacked in the head or the nuts, but even if you don’t laugh at those moments (and it’s hard not to) there’s plenty of clever writing and fantastic comedic acting moments.

Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn do what they always do, but this movie works not just because of the two of them but also due to the phenomenal supporting cast including the hilariously crude Rip Torn always fantastic Stephen Root channeling a slightly less-dorky version of his Milton character from Office Space and Justin Long who also basically plays an extended version of the character Warren which he played for four years on the underrated TV series Ed, not to mention some great cameos which I’ll leave as a surprise. Special mention, though, has to go to Jason Bateman who is cry-and-can’t-breathe funny as the color commentator for the big Dodgeball tournament. Talk about a career-resurgence: his role here isn’t that huge but I laughed every time he was on screen, and his Fox series, the thank-god-it-was-renewed Arrested Development is simply the funniest show on TV, with Curb Your Enthusiasm as its only potential rival.

So the moral of this story? Go see Dodgeball. If you must see everything Spielberg and Hanks, wait for the video of The Terminal. The Janusz Kaminski cinematography is excellent as always, but this isn’t a big visual movie like other Spielberg films so it will survive on your smaller home screen. And Around the World in 80 Days? Just forget about it.

In other news, Forbes magazine has announced its top-100 most powerful celebrities. Apparently, this is their fourth annual list, but I had never heard of it before. According to the Forbes web site, their methodology for creating the list is as follows: Start with money. Add fame. Mix. We rank the relative star power of actors, athletes, singers and talking heads–how much they earn and how many people are paying attention.

So who’s number 1 this year? Yup, Melly Mel. I guess one can’t really argue that considering the ridiculous success of his slasher film. Mel beat out former golfer Tiger Woods. (What? He still plays? I read the first few paragraphs of this and didn’t see his name anywhere. Is it just me, or do you think his Swedish model wife has ruined his game?)

The full list isn’t all that interesting, except I am surprised to see Johnny Depp as high as #10, higher, for example, then Jim Carrey (#15) or Julia Roberts (#24), to name just two. And poor Brad Pitt (#36) has to be content with actually edging out Tom Hanks (#37), although both of them were trumped by David Copperfield (#35)!

Speaking of Trump, the Donald got stuck in the bottom fifty at #64, but at least he beat-out the other breakout reality TV star: her blooming porn star career not-withstanding, poor Paris could only manage to rank #70.

Going over to check-out what is normally the domain of Uncle Grambo, the now-legal Olsens (#48) still rule the roost, but it’s easy to see Lohan (#97) and Bynes (#98) fighting their ways up the chart to challenge, but they both still have a ways to go before catching Duff (#72).

Who comes in dead last, but still higher than the never-to-be-revealed #101? Superstar Chef Jean-Georges Vongerichten (#100), which is actually a perfect capper to this list because only people in the Forbes readership would have any idea who he is.

Of course, I can’t really put any credence in a list that calls itself a “power list” yet includes the likes of The Lord of the Dance! He’s #75.

For those of you in New York who just can’t wait one day longer than you absolute necessary to catch Fahrenheit 9/11, Lions Gate and IFC announced that the film will open at two theaters (the Lincoln Plaza on the UWS and the Loews on 3rd & 11th in the EV) on next Wednesday 6/23 (second item). That’s right, two whole days earlier than the rest of the country. See, our paying $10.25-$10.50 per ticket does give us benefits. We get the movies first. It’s just added proof that New Yorkers will be in-the-know, and we can all laugh at the rest of the country — all those people who just won’t have the chance to see Moore’s Cannes-winning film until two days later.

Yes, yes, you’re right. I’m just trying to mask my excitement. I’ve already Fandangoed my ticket.

Sorry for the lack of posts the past couple days. I’ve been suffering a slight crisis of inspiration, or at least motivation. Although, this little movie helped chipper me up, so who knows what will come now.

How about playing a little game? Name the person who said the following:

“As a candidate for any office, whether it be the state attorney general or the president, Bill Clinton showed incredible energy and great personal appeal. As chief executive, he showed a deep and far-ranging knowledge of public policy, a great compassion for people in need, and the forward-looking spirit that Americans like in a president.”

… and …

“Bill Clinton could always see a better day ahead and Americans knew he was working hard to bring that day closer. Over eight years it was clear that Bill Clinton loved the job of the presidency. He filled (the White House) with energy and joy. He’s a man of enthusiasm and warmth, who could make a compelling case and effectively advance the causes that drew him to public service.”

… and I wouldn’t want to forget …

“(Hillary Clinton) inspires respect and loyalty from those who know her, and it was a good day in both their lives when they met at the library at Yale Law School.”

Your answer is after the jump ….

Continue reading “WHO SAID THIS?”

Now that Wolfgang Petersen has satisfactorily abused an ancient canonical work such as Homer’s The Iliad with his destruction of Troy, he’s apparently set his sights on kicking around a more recent film classic. Petersen with the support of Warner Bros. is planning to remake the 1968 “crime caper” Bullitt.

Bullitt was one of screen-legend Steve McQueen‘s most famous films, and the character of Frank Bullitt one of his most iconic. The movie (directed by Peter Yates) also has one of the best and most famous car chase sequences in film history, to my mind rivaling only the one from The French Connection and maybe the chase from Foul Play, the latter of which was obviously inspired by the sequence in in Yates’ film.

I understand the thinking behind all these remakes of movies that young audiences may never have seen, but it’s really so pointless. It’s not a new argument: Why remake a good movie? There are plenty of terrible movies that may have interesting concepts which can be revisited, hopefully for the better. But it’s Petersen’s desire to not even characterize this as a “remake” that bugs the crap out of me. He doesn’t even care about the plot; he wants to play with the damn character.

“Bullitt” is not about “remaking a film or repeating a plot, it is about reviving a great character,” Petersen said. “Frank Bullitt is a cool, no-nonsense man who doesn’t compromise. Bullitt walks is own path and his pursuit of the truth is unrelenting.”

Yeah, but Bullitt was also Steve McQueen! This isn’t like sticking Pierce Brosnan into a remake and reinvention of The Thomas Crown Affair. The first Thomas Crown was a perfectly fine movie and McQueen showed off his usual magnetic screen presence, but the very idea of what Steve McQueen became as a screen icon was solidified later that same year in Bullitt.

(Slight aside: It is interesting that the director of that remake was John McTiernan, who isn’t so different stylistically or in the types of films he makes from Petersen. And putting McTiernan and Petersen in the same class probably isn’t so different than putting Yates and the original Thomas Crown director Norman Jewison together.)

Almost as disturbing to me is the fact that McQueen’s son Chad who obviously is upset he hasn’t had the same career as his late father, will now try to make more money off his dad’s legacy by acting as a “co-producer” of the film. Chad, they’re not going to let you star in the role, even though I’m sure that would be your dream.
I doubt it’s a whole 60s/70s San Francisco cop-movie thing, but I’ll never say never. What I know is that I don’t particularly want to see another Dirty Harry, but if (god forbid) they make one, it better be while Clint is still alive and kicking well-enough to play “Dirty” Harry Callahan, and I don’t want to see anyone else playing Frank Bullitt.

It seems that those theatrical presenters around the country who book the big Broadway shows are a bit miffed at the Avenue Q producers for this Vegas deal. According to a story in today’s Variety (sub req’d), one presenter called the whole thing “very Machiavellian” and others said the show’s producers pulled a “bait and switch.” For those of you interested who can’t access the article by Chris Jones, here are a couple excerpts:

The surprise revelation that this year’s Tony-winning best musical, “Avenue Q,” would not be going on the road has caused consternation, to put it mildly, among the presenters.

… [edit] …

Like a lot of her colleagues, (Cleveland’s Playhouse Square Center manager Gina) Vernaci had been holding a slot for the hit sleeper tuner for the 2005 season and was already teasing subscribers with its arrival.

After all, Vernaci had been told by the show’s bookers … that it would be available.

Producers Kevin McCollum, Robyn Goodman and Jeffrey Seller Fed-Exed hundreds of letters to interested parties that were timed to arrive the same day as the Times story (which announced the Vegas deal).

… [edit] …

As many people saw it, the Vegas deal was carefully kept under wraps until after the Tony Awards so the musical could present itself as the sweet little show that could.

Had it been known there was a big Vegas payday in the offing, the thinking went in many offices, that all important Tony would not have been forthcoming.

The producers argument is that “it would have been irresponsible to refuse the deal,” which simply means Steve Wynn threw far more money at them than any of us can likely imagine. Still, it’s troubling that the producers might have kept this deal secret because it could have cost them the Tony. In fact, that’s upsetting on many levels, particularly that the show’s producers (who otherwise put forward a brilliant Tony campaign, worthy in its creativity of the show itself) would be this dishonest in their dealings with prospective business partners as well as what this possibly says about the integrity of the Tony voters.

Jon Stewart is near, if not at, the top of my list of entertainment heroes these days. I know that doesn’t make me unique, but whether or not you’re a fan, if you missed Thursday’s episode of The Daily Show, I encourage you to try to catch the Friday repeats at either 10 AM or 7 PM. You don’t need to watch the whole episode, but the last 10 minutes featuring an interview with Jennifer Love Hewitt plugging this weekend’s opening of Garfield: The Movie are priceless. I’ve never seen any talk show host blatantly ridicule his guest’s film the way Stewart scoffs at Garfield , but I suppose he just couldn’t help himself. For her part, Hewitt couldn’t stop squirming.

Stewart starts by asking some fairly basic questions: Why would anyone make this movie? Wasn’t Garfield popular in the ’80s and not so much now? He then continues by marvelling at Bill Murray’s involvement in such a project — Murray is the voice of the famously fat cat. Stewart states that Murray must have agreed to do Garfield’s voice simply because he was bored and wanted a quick payday to buy a new suit.

If it wasn’t so damn funny, it would have been flat-out rude. But it wasn’t — rather, it was utterly hysterical. Catch it, if you can.

I have no idea why I’m writing so much about mainstream commercial theater these days, but tonight I read something that really disturbed me: “The only place audiences will be able to see “Avenue Q” will be New York or Las Vegas, according to the producer.”

That’s just a damn shame. With a Tony win and good press, Avenue Q was set-up to have a fairly successful national tour which would enable people around the country to see one of the best shows to come out of New York in years. Better than Rent (and definitely far less self-righteous), better than Hairspray, better than The Full Monty, and even (in my mind) better than the very-entertaining-but-still-so-much-hype The Producers.

Continue reading “THIS IS REALLY UNFORTUNATE: GIVE THE COUNTRY IT’S PUPPETS! BESIDES, LIKE THEY REALLY NEED THE INFLUENCE OF SIN CITY.”

I just heard on NPR (and then read via AP) that Ray Charles passed away today . R.I.P. Ray. You were one of the greats.