THERE’S NO WAY THIS CAN END WELL

Big news: According to both Daily Variety and The Hollywood Reporter (subscriptions necessary for both), i.e., according to the studio press release, Universal Pictures plans to make another sequel of The Fast and the Furious. All I can say is NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

While the first movie had a cheesy high-speed fun to it, last summer’s sequel was just plain awful, and the lack of Vin Diesel was not the primary culprit.

OK, to be fair, one element has been eliminated: the blond Keanu will apparently not be back. On the other hand, without a horrible actor playing opposite him, Vin may not look so good.

There is one line in the Variety article which I found quite amusing: “The return of Diesel would be a bid to return excitement to a franchise that may otherwise be getting long in the tooth.” Uhm … there have been two films. I don’t think an original and it’s sequel can qualify for “long in the tooth.”

Apparently, the story would begin in Mexico where Diesel’s character has been on the lam ever since the end of the first film. Somehow, everything switches to Tokyo where Vin has to come to the rescue of a friend in trouble with gangsters. I’m guessing street racing may be involved. Vin’s decision to participate is apparently contingent on what he thinks of the script. Hahahahaha.

Ahem … excuse me. Sorry.