We hare most definitely falling down the rabbit hole. Item 1 is terrifying; the rest belongs in the “Completely Unnecessary” files:
- I would say “They’ve got to be kidding,” but sadly I know they’re not. “A conservative group asked federal election officials on Thursday to investigate whether television ads for director Michael Moore’s anti-Bush documentary “Fahrenheit 9/11″ violate campaign finance law regulating when commercials may feature a presidential candidate.” As the right-wing seems to prefer these days, if you disagree with someone, the best course of action is to try to silence them or get them fined.
- For instance, Miramax Books has bought up the U.S. publishing rights to the first two books in a new adventure series about the teenage James Bond. You know, the regular aged James Bond books kind of lost something when Ian Fleming died, such as their true voice. The films definitely lost something when the original Fleming source material began to dwindle. We really don’t need the entire mythology of James Bond to be ruined by teenage escapades. And while film rights were not included in the deal, you know the Weinsteins have at least a “Young James Bond Chronicles” in the back of their head. The premise for the series involves the adventures of “the 13-year-old James Bond as he starts his school days at Eton College.” Of course, maybe the first version will be so original that my fears are for naught. “First book, which will be published in spring 2005, finds the young Bond at a Scottish Castle where he discovers that the owner is conducting ominous experiments in a secret lab.” Ouch! My head.
- As Jason Productshop mentioned yesterday, Chuck Palahnuik is apparently telling people that his 1996 novel “Fight Club” isn’t happy simply existing as a somewhat admired David Fincher film starring Brad Pitt and Edward Norton. He claims there are now plans to adapt it for the stage. As a musical. With Fincher’s help. I just wonder how they’ll insert the single frame porn shot of a giant penis.
- Oh, you want more film to stage musical adaptation news? Apparently, composer Alan Menkin (The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin) is finally getting his big Broadway break. He’s going to be writing a stage musical version of Leap of Faith! Leap of Faith. You know. Leap of Faith? Steve Martin? Liam Neeson? Debra Winger? Lolita Davidovich?
No, Davidovich. Lolita … never mind. Martin plays a traveling evangelist? Remember now? Except, he’s really a con man. No, really. But when stranded in a small town, his cold conniving heart is warmed and cockles melted? Don’t remember? Hmmm … but it was so good. Or … no … actually, it was incredibly mediocre. Well, anyway … it’s going to be a musical. - On the other hand and possibly even not unnecessary, the long in the works musical adaptation of Billy Elliott, featuring songs by Elton John, will open in London in April of next year. The film was one of my favorites from 2000, and if one has a choose a movie to adapt into a stage musical, it seems like a fairly natural choice since it already involves music and dancing. Interestingly enough, director Stephen Daldry and writer Lee Hall are revising their respective roles for this undertaking. Here’s hoping for a successful translation.
Out of Focus 
Let me just draw your attention to a few features that provide ample proof that movies about the heroic exploits of children and teenagers just aren’t a good idea:
Young Einstein
Anything about a young Indiana Jones
Young Sherlock Holmes
Richie Rich
The Spy Kids franchise
Young Frankenstein (No, I don’t particularly care for Mel Brooks.)
And of course, the impending mediocrity that is Thunderbirds. Yikes.
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Well, not all the Spy Kids films were bad, actually. The first two were kind of fun, although the 3rd was a disaster. And (while I know you disagree), Harry Potter features exploits of children, as are the coming Lemony Snicket films. But, and I’m surprised you of all people didn’t catch-on to this, we’re talking BOOKS here. They’re not even at the film stage. A book series of young James Bond. Oh dios mio.
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If you will recall, I have more problems with the HP books than I do with the films, and I left Harry out on purpose because I don’t think we need to go into this again. I was trying to think of movies than ran more explicitly along a superhero bent, like a James Bond teen feature would.
They should make movies out of the Encyclopedia Brown books. I was crazy about Encyclopedia Brown and Nancy Drew when I was a kid.
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